Trauma is a deep emotional response to distressing or life-threatening events. The human body and mind have learned to cope with trauma through a variety of instinctual reactions, often referred to as trauma responses. These responses include attach/cry for help, flight, please and appease, freeze, collapse/submit, and fight. Each of these reactions serves a unique function in the context of survival.
Attach/Cry for Help
The attach/cry for help response is rooted in our need for social support during times of distress. This reaction involves reaching out to others for assistance, comfort, or protection. In infants and young children, this is seen through crying and seeking proximity to caregivers. In adults, it can manifest as seeking emotional support from friends, family, or even strangers. This response is essential for survival, as humans are inherently social creatures who thrive in communities. By calling for help, individuals increase their chances of receiving the support necessary to navigate through trauma.
Flight
The flight response is the body's way of evading danger. When faced with a traumatic situation, the instinct to flee can be overwhelming. This response is characterised by a sudden burst of energy aimed at escaping the perceived threat. Physiologically, this involves the activation of the sympathetic nervous system, leading to increased heart rate, rapid breathing, and heightened alertness. While this reaction is necessary in situations where escape is possible, it can be maladaptive when the threat is psychological or cannot be easily escaped, leading to chronic stress and anxiety.
Please and Appease
The please and appease response is a lesser-known but equally significant trauma reaction. It involves attempting to pacify the threat by pleasing the aggressor or complying with their demands. This behaviour is often seen in situations of domestic violence, abuse, or hostage scenarios. The individual adopts a submissive role, hoping to avoid further harm by becoming non-threatening and cooperative. While this response can temporarily reduce the immediate danger, it often leads to long-term psychological consequences, including feelings of helplessness and a compromised sense of self-worth.
Freeze
The freeze response is characterised by an inability to move or take action in the face of danger. This reaction is often compared to a "deer in headlights," where the individual becomes immobilised, unable to fight or flee. The freeze response can be an adaptive strategy in situations where movement might provoke the aggressor or when neither fighting nor fleeing is a viable option. Physiologically, it involves a high level of arousal paired with a lack of motor activity. Although freezing can protect an individual during the traumatic event, it can also lead to dissociation and difficulties in processing the trauma afterwards.
Collapse/Submit
The collapse/submit response is an extreme form of the freeze response, where the individual not only becomes immobilised but also experiences a deep sense of defeat and surrender. This reaction is often seen in cases of severe, prolonged trauma, such as captivity or ongoing abuse. The body may go limp, and the person might mentally "check out" from the situation. This response can be seen as the body's last resort when all other strategies have failed. Long-term effects can include deep-seated feelings of powerlessness and chronic dissociation.
Fight
The fight response is a direct confrontation with the source of threat. This reaction is characterised by aggression, resistance, and the willingness to combat the danger head-on. Physiologically, the fight response involves the release of adrenaline and other stress hormones, preparing the body for physical confrontation. While this response can be effective in situations where the individual has a chance of overpowering the threat, it can lead to problems when misapplied, such as aggressive behaviour in non-threatening situations or difficulties in managing anger and frustration.
Practical Examples of Trauma Responses
Let's imagine a scenario where a young woman, Emily, experiences a traumatic event: she is walking home at night when she is confronted by an aggressive stranger. Each of the trauma responses can manifest in different ways during and after this event.
Attach/Cry for Help
Example: Emily immediately grabs her phone and calls a friend, frantically asking for help. She might also shout for help, hoping that someone nearby will come to her aid.
Context: This response reflects Emily's instinct to seek social support and protection. By reaching out to others, she hopes to increase her chances of being rescued from the dangerous situation.
Sometimes we exhibit this behaviour in our everyday life by reaching out to friends or others when we feel overwhelmed or anxious in our situations and we seek help or reassurance. Often, this can become a problem when our first response is always others because we do not get to learn certain skills in terms of emotional regulation or healthy coping. This can also lead to co-dependency.
Flight
Example: As soon as Emily sees the stranger approaching with threatening behaviour, she turns and runs as fast as she can towards a well-lit, populated area.
Context: This response is Emily's immediate attempt to remove herself from the danger. Her body mobilises all its resources to flee, increasing her chances of escaping unharmed.
This trauma response can become a dysfunctional response when we have not dealt with past trauma, as we will attempt to flee situations in our lives and relationships that feel threatening, instead of facing them and dealing with them. We can also become avoidant and dismissive (which can develop in childhood attachment) in an attempt to keep ourselves safe from others.
Please and Appease
Example: When the stranger confronts her, Emily tries to stay calm and compliant. She offers him her wallet and phone, speaking softly and politely in an attempt to pacify him and avoid further aggression.
Context: By trying to please and appease the aggressor, Emily aims to de-escalate the situation. Her goal is to make herself appear non-threatening and cooperative to reduce the risk of harm.
We can see how this response is very typical of those in abuse situations. They will attempt to avoid any problems for fear of consequences by doing whatever they can to please and appease. This can play out in intimate relationships with spouses or partners or other interpersonal relationships.
This response can also be rooted in childhood experiences of having to please a fearful or abusive parent or other authority figure.
Freeze
Example: Upon seeing the stranger's aggressive demeanour, Emily feels paralysed with fear. She stands frozen, unable to move or react, as her mind and body are overwhelmed by the threat.
Context: The freeze response leaves Emily immobilised. This can be an instinctual reaction when her mind perceives that neither fighting nor fleeing is a viable option.
The freeze response is also seen when there is dissociation. When freezing, the body may also trigger dissociation to cope with the distress, leading the person to feel numb or detached from the immediate threat. While the body is immobilised, the mind distances itself from the trauma, creating a double layer of protection. This is often why, with ongoing or severe abuse, there is no memory of this especially if it occured in early childood.
Collapse/Submit
Example: In the face of the stranger's continued aggression, Emily collapses to the ground, her body going limp. She feels an overwhelming sense of defeat and submits entirely to the situation, hoping that this will make the aggressor lose interest.
Context: The collapse/submit response is Emily's last resort when she feels completely overpowered and sees no way to escape or resist. This reaction can help her survive by signalling submission to the aggressor. This can also lead to dissociation from the event.
As an everyday example of this we can consider someone who works in a high-stress office environment. Let us call him Alex. Alex's boss is highly critical, often yelling at employees for minor mistakes and creating an atmosphere of fear. One day, the boss singles out Alex during a meeting, loudly criticising and belittling him in front of their colleagues.
In this situation, Alex might experience the collapse/submit response:
Collapse: Feeling overwhelmed by the boss's aggression and the public humiliation, Alex's body might react by slumping in their chair, feeling weak, and unable to speak up or defend themselves. He might feel a sudden drop in energy as if his body is giving up.
Submit: Mentally, Alex might stop trying to argue or defend his actions, accepting the criticism passively. He might apologise repeatedly, agree with everything the boss says, and try to appear as non-threatening and compliant as possible to avoid further confrontation.
Once again, this response can also be seen in other types of abusive interpersonal situations with spouses or family members.
Fight
Example: Sensing no other option and fearing for her life, Emily decides to fight back. She uses her keys as a weapon, swinging at the aggressor while shouting aggressively in an attempt to scare him off or cause enough harm to escape.
Context: The fight response is Emily's attempt to confront and overcome the threat directly. Her body is primed for physical confrontation, with adrenaline heightening her strength and aggression.
How often do we act out in aggression when we feel cornered or unable to escape what we feel is a threat to us? Often, marriage arguments result from one partner feeling intimidated by the "aggressor". Our only option is to lash back.
However, if our childhood attachment has caused our trauma response to be "fight" we might end up fighting people who are not always a threat to us. This is due to perceptions and distortions that have taken root. We may be hypersensitive to body language and tone of voice and often misread situations. This can cause us to have maladaptive relationships with others and can lead to isolation. This is also often those that are "touchy" and sensitive and not easy to be around.
Aftermath and Long-Term Reactions
When someone has experienced trauma or complex trauma, their responses can continue to manifest in various ways, influencing behaviour and mental health. As we discussed above, childhood trauma has long-term effects on our responses to others. We used a really practical example with Emily, and that might be considered a single trauma event, which is more easily recovered from than complex trauma ( more than one experience of trauma or the result of childhood abuse), which might require years to resolve fully.
Attach/Cry for Help: You may frequently reach out to friends and family for emotional support, feeling a strong need to talk about your experiences and feelings to be reassured of your safety.
Flight: You might develop a strong aversion to anything that seems threatening, choosing to avoid situations that you may perceive to be harmful or threatening to you. This can also lead to isolation and loneliness.
Please and Appease: You could become overly accommodating and compliant in your interactions with others, particularly with those you perceive as potentially threatening, to avoid conflict and feel safer.
Freeze: You might experience episodes of dissociation or emotional numbness when reminded something reminds you of your trauma event/s, like a trigger (e.g. a feeling, smell, taste, touch or sound or a particular situation), feeling mentally and physically immobilised.
Collapse/Submit: You could struggle with feelings of helplessness and powerlessness, possibly developing symptoms of depression or chronic fatigue as a result of the prolonged stress.
Fight: You may have heightened irritability and aggression, feeling a constant need to be on guard and ready to defend yourself in any situation.
Treatment Plans for Trauma Responses
Each trauma response—attach/cry for help, flight, please and appease, freeze, collapse/submit, and fight—requires certain approaches to address the specific needs and symptoms associated with the response.
Attach/Cry for Help
Psychotherapy:
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Focus on understanding and changing negative thought patterns related to the trauma.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Help to regulate emotions and improve interpersonal relationships.
Social Support:
Build a strong support network through group therapy or support groups.
You might need family therapy sessions to improve communication and support within your family.
Coping Skills Training:
Relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and mindfulness, to manage anxiety.
Develop assertiveness to feel empowered to seek support without feeling overly dependent.
Flight
Exposure Therapy:
Gradually being exposed to situations that remind you of the trauma in a controlled and safe environment.
Use systematic desensitisation to reduce anxiety associated with specific triggers (e.g., walking alone at night).
Safety Planning:
Get help creating a personal safety plan, including strategies for staying safe and reducing fear in her daily life.
Take self-defense classes to build confidence and a sense of security.
Stress Management:
Incorporate physical activities such as stretching, pilates or exercise to reduce overall stress levels.
Use grounding techniques to stay present and manage panic attacks.
Please and Appease
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT):
Challenge and reframe beliefs about the need to appease others for safety.
Focus on building self-esteem and assertiveness.
Boundaries Training:
Learn how to set and maintain healthy boundaries in relationships.
Role-play scenarios with a counsellor or friend where you practice saying "no" and standing up for yourself.
Trauma-Focused Therapy:
Use Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) to process traumatic memories.
Keep a journal to explore feelings of compliance and develop a stronger sense of self.
Freeze
Somatic Experiencing:
Work with someone who can facilitate you to become more aware of your bodily sensations and work through the physical aspects of the freeze response.
Use techniques to release the energy stored in your body due to trauma.
Mindfulness and Relaxation:
Practice mindfulness meditation to increase awareness of the present moment. When we can stay in the present, the past is not so threatening.
Incorporate progressive muscle relaxation to reduce tension and promote a sense of control.
Creative Therapies:
Engage in art therapy or music therapy to express and process emotions non-verbally.
Use movement-based therapies such as dance or climbing to reconnect with your body.
Collapse/Submit
Trauma-Focused Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT):
Address feelings of helplessness and powerlessness by building coping skills and resilience.
Work on reframing negative thoughts related to submission and defeat.
Empowerment Strategies:
Participation in activities that promote a sense of mastery and achievement like learn a new instrument, take up a hobby like archery or rock climbing. Or take up running or cycling and compete in races even if they are just short distances.
Use positive affirmations and strengths-based approaches to rebuild self-worth.
Body-Based Therapies:
Incorporate bodywork such as massage therapy or TRE to release trauma held in the body.
Learn grounding exercises to feel more present and in control.
Fight
Anger Management:
Learn techniques to help you recognise and manage anger, such as deep breathing, time-outs, and cognitive restructuring.
Use role-playing to practice responding to anger triggers in healthy ways.
Interpersonal Skills Training:
Develop communication skills to improve relationships and reduce conflict.
Practice conflict resolution techniques in a safe and supportive environment.
Therapeutic Activities:
Physical activities like kickboxing or weight training help channel aggressive energy constructively.
Use creative outlets such as writing or drawing to express and process anger.
Integrative Approaches
For all trauma responses, consider integrating the following:
Psychoeducation:
Learn about trauma and its effects on the brain and body.
Find resources and information to normalise your experience and reactions.
Holistic Practices:
Find practices that promote overall well-being.
Explore nutritional support and lifestyle changes that can enhance recovery.
A Biblical Perspective
Integrating a biblical perspective into trauma treatment can provide spiritual comfort and guidance, helping to bring deeper healing through faith.
Attach/Cry for Help
Psychotherapy:
CBT and DBT: Incorporate biblical teachings on trust and reliance on God, such as Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
Social Support:
Participate in church groups or Bible study groups for emotional and spiritual support.
Find prayer partners or spiritual mentors to provide guidance and encouragement.
Coping Skills Training:
Learn relaxation techniques while integrating prayer and meditation on scriptures, such as Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Flight
Exposure Therapy:
Pray for courage and strength, inspired by Isaiah 41:10: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
Safety Planning:
Develop safety plans with the support of your faith community, seeking wisdom and protection through prayer, as reflected in Psalm 91:2: "I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'"
Stress Management:
Integrate scripture meditation with physical activities, such as meditating on Psalm 46:1: "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."
Please and Appease
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT):
Challenge and reframe beliefs by focusing on biblical truths about self-worth and God’s unconditional love, such as Romans 8:38-39: "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers...will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Boundaries Training:
Learn boundary setting with biblical examples of healthy relationships, such as Galatians 6:2,5: "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ...for each one should carry their own load."
Trauma-Focused Therapy:
Use journaling to explore feelings and incorporate scripture reflections, such as Psalm 139:14: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Freeze
Somatic Experiencing:
Become aware of bodily sensations while praying and meditating on verses like Psalm 23:4: "Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."
Mindfulness and Relaxation:
Practice mindfulness with a focus on God’s presence, inspired by Psalm 46:10: "Be still, and know that I am God."
Creative Therapies:
Engage in art or music therapy while reflecting on scriptures such as Zephaniah 3:17: "The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in His love, He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing."
Collapse/Submit
Trauma-Focused Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT):
Address feelings of helplessness by emphasising God’s power and plans for hope and a future, as in Jeremiah 29:11: "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"
Empowerment Strategies:
Encourage activities that promote a sense of mastery with scriptural affirmations like Philippians 4:13: "I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength."
Body-Based Therapies:
Incorporate grounding exercises with scripture meditation, focusing on verses like Psalm 55:22: "Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken."
Fight
Anger Management:
Manage anger with biblical principles, such as Ephesians 4:26-27: "In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."
Interpersonal Skills Training:
Develop communication skills with a focus on biblical teachings on peacemaking, as in Matthew 5:9: "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God."
Therapeutic Activities:
Take part in physical activities with spiritual principles in mind, such as practicing self-discipline and gentleness, inspired by 1 Timothy 4:8: "For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come."
Integrative Approaches with a Biblical Perspective
For all trauma responses, consider integrating the following biblical practices:
Psychoeducation:
Be encouraged that even those in the Bible suffered trauma and read the stories of resilience and faith, such as the story of Joseph (Genesis 37-50) or David's psalms.
Medication:
If medication is necessary, incorporate prayer for wisdom and healing, as suggested in James 5:14-15: "Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord."
Holistic Practices:
Practices such as meditation on scripture, prayer walks, or listening to worship music can promote overall well-being and spiritual growth.
So, we see that integrating the biblical perspective into what is available through psychology and somatic interventions can be complimentary to your healing journey.
Be encouraged that no matter what you have been through, God is our Healer, and He can walk this road with you to full healing and restoration!